heart ache

My heart aches when I think of this person
Whom I think of occasionally
We were born same day
We were born same hospital
We lived in the shit state of Texas
We just connected 17 years after our births.

I wonder what ever happened to him.
I wonder what he really thought or felt.
Did he feel the same?

I later spoke with my sister about a time long ago. She let me know that he had feelings for me.
Would I have gone out with my current? No I would not have at the time. We would have gone out. He would have hurt me. I know I hurt him already. He tried to break us up. He tried to split what we had. What if I would have gone that way?
I would not have my babies....
I would not have my husband....
I would not have a nice house.....
I would not be happy......

I really cared about him. I really did. I even do now but know that it was truly not meant to be. I nannied for a woman who thinks that we had been connected in another life. What are the chances of running into a person who was born on the same day, same hospital, lived in the same state before and meet up as teenagers at a random party? Too weird. Our parents so different. His dad, a chaplin and mother a great woman. My mother, a teenager with no one......I miss you Josh.

The Crush.....

The pain of the heart....
What could never be....
He will never know.....
The pain will go.... away
eventually.